He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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