their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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