Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
