Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
