Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He has the fingertips of a God
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