its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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