We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
