He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize