mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize