How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
