When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
