Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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