I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
