I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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