Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
