fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i think my mom watched the whole time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
