You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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