We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
