yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
