Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Couch. On fire.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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