Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
