I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize