false alarm. still invincible.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
