I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize