Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
