Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How does one acquire holy water?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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