thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
