Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
