There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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