Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
