He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
