This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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