And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't deserve a penis
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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