i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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