i just had sex bonerless
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
