You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize