I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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