Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
