It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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