some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
