i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
