I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
