i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
