he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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