My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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