i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
