We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
