someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
