Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
