On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
