Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
