They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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