I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I supernannyed him into submission
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
