he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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