How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
