cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Vodka?
Forever.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
