Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
