YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
