this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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