Someone shit on the floor
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
