I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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