i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
