and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize