Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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