Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
