why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
